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	<title>No More Regrets</title>
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		<title>Managing Without Regrets:  An HR Perspective</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2012/01/managing-without-regrets-an-hr-perspective/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2012/01/managing-without-regrets-an-hr-perspective/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Jan 2012 20:11:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chip</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=661</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When it comes to regrets, the managerial ranks are a breeding ground.  Managers in every organization at one time or another will do things they wish they hadn’t done or fail to do things they wish they had done.  Common examples of situations that may result in regret for managers include bad hiring decisions, failure to properly use the progressive discipline process, holding on to poor performers too long, not having enough promotable team members in the pipeline, and losing good people to the competition.  These scenarios also have a direct impact on the workload and frustration of the organization’s HR staff, who time and time again may find themselves asking the following questions: 

•	Why do we keep hiring the wrong people?
•	Why didn’t we document the performance issues?
•	Why do we hold on to C players when we should be upgrading our talent?
•	Why don’t we have a strong enough bench of candidates to fill the open positions?
•	Why don’t we do a better job of attracting and retaining top talent?

The answers, of course, are not so cut and dry.  But from an HR perspective, it is critical that an open dialogue and subsequent educational effort be initiated with organizational managers around how to avoid these patterns of regret going forward.  Whether it is recruiting, hiring, onboarding, developing, coaching, succession planning, promoting, or disciplining, managing without regrets is possible – but only once there is a shared awareness of what is at the root of the problems as well as what preventative actions need to be taken.  

Here are a few “regret elimination” tips that HR professionals can provide to managers:

1.	Wait for the right person – it’s better to be shorthanded in the near term than to hire the wrong person for the long term.

2.	Cut the cord – be decisive about moving under-performers out and bringing top performers in.

3.	Proactively build your bench – start developing and recruiting before the need arises so you are ready when it does.
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Regrets, Peace and Forgiveness:  A Case to Consider</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/03/regrets-peace-and-forgiveness-a-case-to-consider/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/03/regrets-peace-and-forgiveness-a-case-to-consider/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Mar 2011 00:51:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chip</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=649</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day I received the following inquiry from a reader that may provoke further discussion and reflection on the topic of "regret and how to make peace with oneself," which was the focus of my previous two blogs:

"This information was helpful. I have a question. A son accidently killed his mother by a freak accident, no criminal charges just a very tragic circumstance, the son was also injured. The dad is angry at the son and doesn't want to aide his son in his recovery or have anything to do with the son at this time if ever. Is this normal? And what can be done do help both of them?"

My first reaction is that my heart goes out to this family, what a traumatic event. Specifically with regard to the regrets aspect of this situation, I imagine that a big part of the son's recovery process is trying to deal with intense feelings of guilt, self-blame, remorse, and loss.  Even though the tragedy was accidental, my sense is that the son still feels responsible.  Making peace with himself will be no easy task, though my hope is that in time he will be able to start the healing process.

One thought I had is that the son may be looking for his father's forgiveness, but right now the father may not be ready to forgive. In order for the son to work through his regret and find peace, he may first have to forgive himself. This is independent of whether or not his father forgives him today, tomorrow, or ever. Having said that, for the father to make peace with himself, he ultimately may need to forgive his son.  The father's feelings of anger are a very natural part of the grieving process, and he must work through that anger before he is able to get to the point of forgiveness.

In a chapter called "Take a Mulligan" in my book No More Regrets!, I talk about the concept of second chances. The story I tell is about my conversation with Wally Armstrong, coauthor of The Mulligan: A Parable of Second Chances (with Ken Blanchard), and in that sequence there are some thoughts about forgiveness that may be relevant here. One of the key messages is that true forgiveness must come from the heart, and this can only happen if the heart is ready to forgive.

If this discussion interests you, I also recommend checking out (or revisiting) the Kübler-Ross phases of grief model (1973; 2005), which includes the following five stages:

Denial - "This isn't really happening." "It can't be true."
Anger -"This isn't fair." "I don't deserve this." "Someone else is to blame."
Bargaining -"I'm not ready for this, I need more time." "I'll do anything to make this go away." "Please have mercy on me."
Depression -"I can't deal with this anymore." "There's no hope." "There's no point in going on." "I am so alone."
Acceptance -"I'm coming to terms with this." "I will survive this." "I surrender."

Here's a few questions for you to consider:

• What are your reactions to the story above?
• What is a time in your life when you experienced regret, including feelings of guilt or remorse, as part of losing someone or something special to you?
• How did you work through this loss and were you able to make peace with yourself?
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Make Peace with Yourself:  How We Let Go of Regret</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/03/make-peace-with-yourself-how-we-let-go-of-regret/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/03/make-peace-with-yourself-how-we-let-go-of-regret/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Mar 2011 21:35:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chip</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=646</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Regret can have a powerful hold on us.  Our experiences of loss, heartache, and disappointment tend to stick with us and the negative consequences of our actions—or inactions—at times are often hard to shake.  A critical piece of being able to let go of our deepest regrets is being able to make peace with ourselves.  While I wish there was an easy prescription for doing this, there is no magic formula.  But I believe in my heart that each of us has the ability to do it.  We are each capable of putting an end to the torment of regret and moving on with our lives.  Following is an example, adapted from my book No More Regrets! 30 Ways to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life, that illustrates at a personal level what I mean by making peace with yourself. 

My son, Blake, was born in the middle of a hurricane, literally as the eye of the storm passed over the hospital where my wife was giving birth. It was a scene that can only be described as chaotic: the hospital was already on backup generators due to flooding and a power outage, and we were on the only floor that hadn’t been evacuated yet. Nurses were running around frantically as my wife begged for an epidural. Then, just as she was about to deliver, the doctor informed us that the umbilical cord was wrapped around our baby’s neck. As he tried to remedy the situation, I could see signs of panic on his face. He reassured us that everything was fine, but our son was a deep blue color upon coming out of the womb. 

All I remember is pleading to God to let this baby breathe. I can say without hesitation that I have never been so happy to hear a baby cry his lungs out. At that moment, I knew my son was resilient and determined to put up a fight, though I still wondered what impact the early trauma might have had on him. Did he stop breathing for too long? Would he be “normal”? I hated to think that way, but I kept torturing myself with the unknown. 

As my son grew from an infant to a toddler, I continued to worry about him, even though his cognitive, social, and physical development was fine. Instead of celebrating his good health, I focused more on possible reasons for concern: he had chronic eczema that made him scratch his skin until it bled, he developed a severe nut allergy that resulted in a 911 call and a trip to the emergency room, he got bronchitis more frequently than most kids, and he needed breathing treatments for wheezing. Right or wrong, I attributed these symptoms to his precarious situation at birth, not to mention I couldn’t shake the idea—however illogical—that I was partly responsible. Perhaps I could have done something to prevent the umbilical cord from getting wrapped around his neck. Maybe I should have moved my wife to a different hospital that wasn’t in the direct path of a hurricane. I was haunted with regret every time I relived the experience in my head. 

When Blake was almost five we took a family trip to Portland, and the itinerary included a visit to the famous outdoor market. Blake was insistent upon having his palm read by a woman at a table full of tarot cards, despite my attempts to lure him toward the cotton candy booth. Reluctantly I conceded, terrified that the palm reader might reveal something awful to my son about his health. At the conclusion of the reading my son called me over. To my surprise, he was all smiles. Then he ran off to find Mom while I paid the bill. 

As I started to reach for my wallet, the palm reader grabbed me by the arm and stared into my eyes with captivating intensity. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” she said. “What happened to your son was a long time ago; he’s going to be fine now. You can stop worrying, you’ll see.” 

My jaw dropped. How did she know my secret? How did she know he was going to be okay? For some strange reason that I still can’t explain, I believed her. Perhaps the sole reason our paths had crossed that day was for her to tell me that a guardian angel was watching over my son. The sense of relief I felt was overwhelming. I broke down crying right there in the middle of the crowded street, overcome with emotion and the revelation that I was no longer a prisoner to my feelings of worry and regret. 

The key to getting over regret is learning how to release yourself from its grip. I believe my son was born in a hurricane because he can weather any storm. He is healthy, happy, smart, friendly, funny, courageous, athletic, and strong. I am no longer burdened with the weight of regret because I have let go of my emotional baggage from the circumstances of his birth. When we face what torments us, we put a stop to our inner turmoil. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Come to terms with your feelings of regret and don’t beat yourself up over situations you can’t control. Make peace with yourself and set yourself free from the past.

Marc Muchnick is the author of No More Regrets! 30 Ways to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life. For more information go to: www.no-more-regrets.com
]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Love Minus Regrets:  Never Forget Why You Fell in Love in the First Place</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/02/love-minus-regrets-never-forget-why-you-fell-in-love-in-the-first-place/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/02/love-minus-regrets-never-forget-why-you-fell-in-love-in-the-first-place/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Feb 2011 01:38:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is no better time than Valentine’s Day to start heating up the passion in your relationship, and part of doing that requires getting rid of your regrets in love.  This of course begs the question of what is the most common relationship regret, and one always seems to rise to the top:  realizing that you’ll never change the other person.  Said another way, trying to mold your partner into someone they’re not is a futile effort that will inevitably result in disappointment.

Often we try so hard to turn our significant others into whom we want them to be that we overlook the special, unique qualities that make them who they are.  As a result we become fixated on what they do that bothers us and what we want them to change.  Before long all that we can think about are their shortcomings, inadequacies, and annoying habits.  This is a downward spiral that can end even the best of relationships.  Ultimately what we learn is that trying to get someone to change their stripes is a waste of time and energy.

Recently a friend of mine and his wife were on the brink of divorce after years of trying to work things out.  They tried counseling, date nights, among other strategies for saving their marriage.  Ultimately though, what it came down to was that they were so busy being upset about what they didn’t find desirable about each other that they forgot why they fell in love in the first place.  They wanted each other to be someone they weren’t, and that overshadowed everything else.  Only after one of them threatened to walk out did they discover what would change the course of their relationship.  As they started to consider what life would be like without each other, they both grew sad and began to talk about how they first met and what drew them together.  From there they recanted a long list of happy memories and unforgettable experiences they had enjoyed together.  While there had been rough times, there had been far more good times.  They realized that their history as a couple was rich and amazing – and what a shame it would be to say goodbye to all of that.  

I am pleased to say that my friend and his wife are better than ever right now.  Once they started focusing on what was wonderful about each other as opposed to what wasn’t, their relationship took an immediate upswing.  It was almost like someone flipped a switch and all the darkness and ugliness was gone.  While they fully realize not every day will be bright and beautiful, they have gained a new respect for each other and are heading down the right track.

If you want to eradicate regret from your relationship, never forget what brought the two of you together in the first place.  Realize that focusing on the imperfections will lead you nowhere.  Instead, relish what is so special about your partner that makes you feel excited, happy, and in love all over again.
]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>relationship</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/01/relationship/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/01/relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Jan 2011 20:14:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=579</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Had a relationship with a very close friends boyfriend or exboyfriend (not sure which)when I was a teenager and went off to college. I lost a very close friend that I grew up with and never spoke to the guy again. Looking back twenty something years later I regret the relationship I had with the individual. To this day, I still look back and wish it never happened because it was not worth what happened in the end. I learned a lot from that and as long as I live I will never forget how much I and the person I had a relationship with hurt my very close friend. To make matters worse I still see my long lost friend around town sometimes. Hopefully someone reading this should completely understand this story.]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Want to Be Happier?  Steer Clear of Toxic People</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/01/want-to-be-happier-steer-clear-of-toxic-people/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2011/01/want-to-be-happier-steer-clear-of-toxic-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jan 2011 20:44:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=577</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am frequently asked what the key is to getting rid of regret and finding greater happiness in life.  Here are my thoughts on one way that is guaranteed to help:

Some people will squeeze the life out of you if you let them.  They’re the ones who are quick to criticize us and make callous remarks behind our backs.  They thrive on pointing out our inadequacies and love to remind us of our flaws.  They like to prey on us when we’re most vulnerable and kick us when we’re down.  In addition, they relish the moments when we are vulnerable and take every opportunity to chip away at our self-esteem.  Deep down, these are insecure, unhappy folks who have discovered they feel better about themselves when we feel worse.  WARNING: steer clear of these toxic people – they reek of negativity and are poster children for regret.

If you want to be happier and have less regret in your life, stay as far away as possible from toxic people.  Instead surround yourself with positive, supportive people who will encourage you and believe in you.  These are individuals who tend to smile a lot, love to laugh at life, and are always there to cheer you on.  They see your potential even when you’re not showing it, and they look at every day as an opportunity for you to do something great.  They are also the ones who boost your confidence when you’re up against a challenge and who lift your spirits when you’re down in the dumps or stuck in a rut.  They are eternal optimists and die-hard advocates.  They’ve got your back and will always be in your corner.

Hanging around toxic people is a recipe for regret.  Get them out of your life and work on keeping positive people in it – you’ll feel more energized, motivated, confident, inspired, happy, and alive.  Steer clear of toxic people and put yourself in the presence of people who bring out your best.

Who are the toxic people in your life?  How do you feel when you’re around them?
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Three Regrets to Get Rid of in the New Year</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/three-regrets-to-get-rid-of-in-the-new-year/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/three-regrets-to-get-rid-of-in-the-new-year/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 05:40:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=573</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are regrets weighing you down?  As we move into the new year, it’s the perfect time to shed some of the psychological baggage we’ve been accumulating and carrying around with us.  Here are three common regrets that are well worth getting rid of:

Regret #1: Getting caught up in the rat race.

Most of us feel over-extended, over-scheduled, or over-worked. The fast pace we’re on takes a lot of energy and there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.  As a result, it’s easy to start regretting how we’ve spread ourselves too thin and are constantly running around with no end in sight.  With the dawn of a new year upon us, give yourself permission to take some time out, even if it’s just a few hours catching up with a friend you haven’t seen for awhile, watching a movie, or doing absolutely nothing.  Resist the urge to jam up your schedule and run a million errands when you are finally able to secure some free time.  Even if a true vacation is out of the question, make sure you take at least a little time to yourself to decompress – you’ll feel rejuvenated, more relaxed, and reenergized for the new year.

Regret #2: Losing touch with the people you love most. 

Relationships have to be nourished, and in the absence of love and attention they can begin to fade away.  As we move into the new year, think of a special person in your life from whom you’ve grown apart.  What got in the way?  What created the distance?  If we’re really honest with ourselves, at times our preoccupation with what’s going on in our daily lives becomes prioritized over everything – and everyone – else.  We get so concerned about our own needs that we forget about what others need from us as well.  In turn, others may see us as selfish, self-absorbed, and self-indulgent.  The result is inevitably regret:  the loss of a friendship, the breakup of a relationship, or the disintegration of family ties.  In this new year, make a concerted effort to stay connected to the people you love most.  Take the initiative to reach out to someone you miss spending time with and prioritize that person’s needs – not just your own.  Put past arguments or disagreements aside and make a renewed commitment to rebuild.  While it may take some time to get back the closeness that you lost, your efforts to repair the relationship will help ensure you don’t lose it again.

Regret #3: Falling short of your personal and professional goals.

Okay, so you didn’t get everything done this past year that you had hoped to accomplish. Whether it was the amount of money you wanted to make, the number of pounds you wanted to lose, the quality time you wanted to spend with your family and friends, the progress you wanted to make in your career, or the projects you wanted to complete, what’s happened has happened and there’s nothing that you can do about it.  Bottom line:  the last 12-month chapter of your life is officially over.  However, you can do something about the next 12 months.  What new personal and professional goals will you set for yourself?  What mistakes will you try not to make again?  What are some of your strengths that you can leverage a bit more?  How will you know if you’ve succeeded?  With the advent of 2011, leave 2010 behind and let bygones be bygones.  Wipe the slate clean and begin anew.  Give yourself a fresh start and put your focus on the future.  
]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Five Things We Tend to Regret — And Why We Shouldn’t Regret Them</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/five-things-we-tend-to-regret-%e2%80%94-and-why-we-shouldn%e2%80%99t-regret-them/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/five-things-we-tend-to-regret-%e2%80%94-and-why-we-shouldn%e2%80%99t-regret-them/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Dec 2010 19:35:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=569</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Has regret gotten the best of you?  Recently I was asked whether there are some regrets that really shouldn't be.  This is what I came up with:

Regret #1: Taking a chance on love only to find heartache in the end.

Putting your heart out there is not easy, and when our quest for love results in disappointment it can be disillusioning, demoralizing and downright depressing. What we have to remember is that it's tough to find love if you don't take the risk of making your heart vulnerable. While there is always the possibility of rejection or coming up empty handed, that is better than the regret of not having tried.

Regret #2: Paying your dues in a job that ultimately leads to nowhere.

No one wants to wind up in a dead end job after working hard to succeed. Whether because of a reorganization, someone else getting promoted into a position you wanted, or opportunity simply drying up, the end result is the same: it feels like you've wasted your time. But have you? After all, weren't their learnings along the way? Think of what you can take with you from this experience and where you're headed in the future. Look at it as a chance to get clear on what you want out of your career.

Regret #3: Getting in a disagreement with someone you really care about.

It would be wonderful if we always agreed on everything and never had any friction in relationships. But that's not reality. Disagreement and conflict are inevitable, even with people we dearly love. The trouble is when we hold our feelings in and avoid confrontation, we consequently feel stifled and fail to communicate. Even worse is when we act like things are okay when in fact they are far from it. Every healthy relationship has conflict; the key is taking the time to work through it.

Regret #4: Feeling guilty about taking a break from work.

There is something to be said for having a strong work ethic. But sometimes we get so caught up in our careers and have so much on our plates that we actually feel bad about taking time away from work. Somewhere along the line we convinced ourselves that stopping to take lunch, working less than ten hours a day, or using all of our vacation days is not a good thing. Moreover, with e-mail and texting we are essentially always "on call." The result is that we spend so much time working and thinking about work, we forget about living and enjoying life. Give yourself permission to take a break - you'll never look back at the end of your life and regret not spending more time at work.

Regret #5: Not being able to say goodbye to a loved one.

Losing someone that we care about is never easy, but sometimes we are unable to say our final goodbyes due to distance, finances, or other obligations in life. The guilt - and regret - that we feel in such situations can be overwhelming. What we must realize is that our sadness is also because we truly miss this person. Although you may not have the closure you wanted in the end, the good times you spent with this individual while here on Earth cannot be taken away. Take time to reflect on the experiences you shared together and realize that those special moments are forever.

Get over regret before it gets the best of you!]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dealing with Regret: Do Your Personal &#8220;Year in Review&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/dealing-with-regret-do-your-personal-year-in-review/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/dealing-with-regret-do-your-personal-year-in-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 18:33:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=567</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[All businesses make an annual practice of evaluating what they've accomplished throughout the year and what they need to do to get better. For instance, have they met their financial goals? What were their biggest successes? What were their regrets and failures? Taking all that into account, what were their lessons learned? Doing this type of "year in review" is not only a best practice for companies, but also for you and me.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday I began to reflect on what's happened in my life over the past year. There was a lot to be thankful for - my sister-in-law and her husband are adopting another child from Ethiopia, my father-in-law is beating cancer, my parents just celebrated their 45th anniversary, my wife and I are happily married, my kids are doing well in school, and I have a new book coming out. For all of these things I am genuinely grateful and happy.

But while the year has had its ups, it's also had its downs. As much as getting published for the third time was exciting, it was also no easier than the first. If you ever want to go through a truly humbling experience that will teach you the real meaning of the word rejection, try pitching a manuscript to agents and publishers! On the home front, my 13-year old daughter has provided me with no shortage of "parenting moments" this year. So many times I've had to ask myself, Am I really this bad of a father? In addition, I said goodbye to a client that I didn't want to travel for anymore. While I felt good about staying true to my personal values of putting family first and not being an absentee father, I really miss the challenge and excitement of the work I was doing there as well as the deep friendship I had cultivated with my client.

What I've come to realize as I continue to do this end-of-year personal reflection is that even the disappointments and struggles have taught me a lot about myself and have helped me gain a stronger sense of authenticity. I've made some mistakes and I've also had to make some tough choices that could have backfired, but I don't regret these experiences because I've stayed true to who I am and can live with the decisions I've made. For example, taking away all of my daughter's electronics for a week (yes, a 7-day moratorium on texting, Facebooking, Skyping, e-mailing, etc.) was not met with a warm reception though in the end it brought us closer when she finally understood the reason why. Lately we are talking a lot more and she is starting to let me back into her life.

Looking back is an important step for moving forward. If you want to be happier and avoid regrets in the future, then you have to take inventory of the past. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you do your own "year in review":

• What's working and what still needs work?
• Can I live with the decisions I've made?
• What have I learned from both my successes and my failures?
• Now that I know where I'm at, how will I get to where I want to go?
]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Got Regrets?</title>
		<link>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/got-regrets/</link>
		<comments>http://no-more-regrets.com/2010/12/got-regrets/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Dec 2010 01:12:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://no-more-regrets.com/?p=561</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Got Regrets?
Don't let your busy schedule run your life.

Most of us have regrets. But none of us want to have more of them. Think about how many times you've said (or thought to yourself): "I work way too much..." "I should have followed my heart..." "I really need to keep in better touch with my friends..." "I wish I could take back what I said..."

While we can't erase our regrets from the past, we CAN learn how to abolish regret from our lives in the future. This doesn't mean that we won't make mistakes, but instead that we'll be better able live with the decisions that we make. For instance, one morning last week before leaving for school my son asked me if I would play basketball with him when I got home from work. This couldn't have come at a worse time - I had two pressing deadlines, back-to-back conference calls that would go into the evening, and ten things on my to-do list that were still hanging over my head. Couldn't he see how busy I was? My first inclination was to tell him that we'd have to find another time. But when I looked into his eyes, what I saw was a little boy who just wanted to spend some quality time with his dad and now I was going to turn him away. What was I thinking? It wasn't his fault that I had so much on my plate.

With a little creativity, I worked my schedule around and had a basketball in hand when my son came down to greet me as I walked though the front door.  His face lit up as we headed out to the driveway, which doubled as a makeshift half-court.  We played "horse" and it was clear my son had been practicing.  Although it was a little embarrassing to get beaten three times in a row by an 11-year, it was probably the most fun I've had in over a month.

To avoid the regret of not spending enough meaningful time with the people you care about most in your life, consider the following:
• Strive to balance the priorities that compete for your time.
• Get creative in how you schedule your day.
• Block out "quality time" and stick to those commitments.

While you can't always put life on hold, don't lose hold of what - and who - matters most to you.

Now it's your turn: think of a time when you've regretted not spending quality time with someone important in your life. What was the impact on your relationship with this individual? How did you work through this regret, if at all? What will you do differently or better to avoid this regret going forward?
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